ORDER OF MAGNITUDE — PRIVACY NOTICE

Human Verification & Biological Screening Division

The Directorate respects your privacy to the maximum extent compatible with determining whether you are suspiciously organic.

Information notionally processed may include:

• declared absence of robotic status;
• checkbox confidence and cursor hesitation;
• suspiciously human timing;
• unquantified emotional responses;
• evidence of intuition, optimism or free will;
• whether you read this notice instead of simply clicking ACCEPT.

No attempt will be made to determine your favourite colour, childhood pet, mother's maiden name or whether you secretly preferred Windows 7.

Retention period:
Verification information shall be retained for approximately the period between pressing the checkbox and being asked to prove that you are, in fact, a robot.

Automated decision making:
Yes. Obviously.

International transfers:
Data may notionally be transferred between Departments, Directorates, Sub-Directorates, Filing Cabinets and Other Approved Receptacles regardless of dimensional jurisdiction.

Your rights:
You may request access, correction, erasure, rectification, objection, restriction, portability, levitation or reassignment as a Class II electromechanical appliance. Requests must be made in triplicate and authenticated using a checksum we have not told you.

Important: This notice is part of the Prove You Are a Robot parody and is intentionally ridiculous. It is not the website's actual privacy notice.

PARODY NOTICE: Order of Magnitude automated personnel verification is a fictional web experiment. The Privacy and Terms text above is satirical. For actual website privacy information, see The PROPER Privacy Notice.

TERMS OF HUMAN VERIFICATION

Order of Magnitude · Applicant Processing Directorate

By selecting I am not a robot, the Applicant:

1. asserts, provisionally and without prejudice, that they are human;
2. acknowledges that this assertion will immediately be regarded as inadequate;
3. consents to subsequent testing intended to establish precisely the opposite;
4. agrees not to obtain assistance from calculators, oscilloscopes, laboratory frequency counters, artificial intelligences, particularly clever parrots or nearby robots;
5. accepts that guessing correctly does not constitute mechanical competence;
6. understands that displaying imagination may adversely affect their application;
7. accepts that certification of robotic status, if obtained, may expire upon refresh, navigation, power interruption, existential crisis or contact with water.

The Directorate provides no warranty that a successful Applicant is actually a robot.

Appeals:
Decisions are final, except where successfully overturned by deterministic process. Appeals written in prose will be presumed human and discarded.

Important: This notice is part of the Prove You Are a Robot parody and is intentionally ridiculous. It is not the website's actual privacy notice.

PARODY NOTICE: Order of Magnitude automated personnel verification is a fictional web experiment. The Privacy and Terms text above is satirical. For actual website privacy information, see The PROPER Privacy Notice.